Coming into our launch date in January before we headed out to the nations, with new information God had given me Concerning this wall in my dream. I spent the time between training camp and launch wondering and kind of fretting if this next year would be more of the same of what I experienced at camp of just being absolutely terrible at community. so as those fears and worry’s arose i would send them to God and He was always there to comfort me and speak life into the situation reminding me of all there was to gain and learn in community and also that the Gospel being shared trumped my fear any day. So before i left for launch I remember asking Him to show me how to do community well, and how to love and serve those i would be serving with well. He definitely answered that prayer for me and i have gained so much, learned so much, and seen so much that God is wanting to do through us. As we are learning, growing and seeking God together i have also gained some life long friends that i can trust and confide in as we help one another work out our salvation. So one thing i have learned in this walk is that God never stops growing us, so as soon as i thought i was tearing down this wall and getting this community thing down God decides to show me that there was way more to this wall and actually used this new gift of community to bring these thing to light. As a brother of mine (shout out to Jacken) of mine gently showed me some things that I didn’t see as problems that were definitely problems that i found to later be deeply rooted in my character and were actually crippling my growth. So after i had received this input i took it to God and God showed me just how true those things were. one day during our ministry in Guatemala I remember God prompting me to Go to the woods and just seek Him so I did, i even missed the first half of ministry that day and it was well worth because in that time alone with Him he gave me so much clarity concerning this wall! He showed me why it was strong, why it was more then just community and how these thing were creating something that was holding me back in my walk. He called them the 4 corners of the wall and went on to explain that these things were the reasons the wall was immovable. The first corner was me not trusting in the body and people in General, which at the time i thought was the entire wall, next was my need to feel i had to people please, the bottom right corner was the disapproval of Man thinking it was tied to the disapproval of God, and the last corner of this wall was my lack of walking in confidence, boldness, and the Authority God had given me. All these things put together created this wall that was hindering me walking in the manner and calling God had put on my life. then He went on to explain How these things were all connected, and how they were holding me back, which i will explain in my next post!
