So once God gave me some direction of what this next year was going to look like spiritual growth wise, i spent the next 3 weeks going into training/debrief in a place of wondering how i was going to begin confronting and dealing with these things. once we got to training we got to spend a week doing some inner observation of ourselves where we would ask God to show us things within ourself that He wants to remove. Once He revealed those things we would take a journey through our past to see what pains, scars or wounds were the root of the problem. Every problem or blemish in our character can 100% of the time be linked back to something in your past. So when i brought this question before God he brought me back to the 4 corners of the wall and reiterated and confirmed the importance of uprooting and getting rid of those things this year, so that i can further grow! So during training we began to dig to get down to these roots. Getting into those uncomfortable places and bringing things the light. My fear of community came from being hurt In the past when I extended my trust, my people pleasing came from my desire to fit in and being accepted by everybody that started back in grade school. Me tying the disapproval of man to the disapproval of God came from the days that i thought i had to earn my way into heaven and Gods love. So when because you always fall short i would trust man and their opinions as if God himself was speaking to me. Now i walk in grace but sometimes i allow what man thinks to outweigh the truth had already spoken over me, causing me to be somewhat hesitant when speaking or being confident and bold. My lack of confidence, boldness, and the authority of the Holy Spirit comes from me quenching the spirit because of fear of being wrong. in the past i had been 100% wrong, and super prideful. So God had to crush me and put me to shame in order to tear those things down. So He could rebuild from the ground up a clean and pure confidence and boldness through the authority of the Holy Spirit. so coming into this process i was kind of frustrated because i could see the problems but didn’t have any practical instruction of how to move forward in these things. So as we ended training training/debrief God begin to move in these things and has been so graceful in the seen of uprooting. Putting me in situations and circumstances where i can clearly see what these thing look like in my life,leaving me room to fail and grow. There has been situations where i needed to be bold and instead remained passive. There have been moments where I put the word of man over what God had already confirmed and i allowed mans word to trump what He had already spoken, but in those moments God acted as a teacher and gently corrected me and guided my steps. Its been A beautiful and challenging path so far but it is a blessing and life bringing to see God working in my life as a Rabbi, watering and pouring into me day by day. Acting as a potter and me the clay within hands. Shaping and molding me according to His will. Can’t wait to see what the rest of this year is going t look like!! As he makes me to look more like Him internally, and share the overflow with the world externally and all those we cross paths with!
Author: General Posts | | by worldrace-blogs
